I'm Engaged!!!!!!!

More details to come soon...hopefully

(soon is a relative term) 

The Best Laid Plans...

So much for keeping up on this thing!!

I've been reminded once again lately that learning to be vulnerable is a process.  Once one feels as if they have "mastered" how to be vulnerable in a certain area, there is always another area that needs attention. 

I have a difficult time admitting when things are not going wonderfully.  I have a hard time admitting when I feel hurt or confused.  I'm used to playing the role of the stable friend who is safe to confide in and steady enough to lean on.  I guess I feel that role is compromised when I show that I may be a bit emotionally off kilter. 

I've been in a reflective mood recently.  Many times this has been uncomfortable because I have to then face the challenges that I can usually sweep under the rug of my head and heart.  Life in general has been a bit challenging lately, but I also know that challenges generally promote growth.  I pray my eyes will be open to the lessons God is continuing to patiently teach me.

I've been reading my past blogs and journal entries recently.  I've really enjoyed it.  I've been reminded of past lessons and past challenges that God has guided me through.  I have also been really amazed at how many entries have actually been really helpful for where I am today.  I don't feel like I'm back in the place I was then, but I feel God is using previous hardships to help me through my current situations.

I found the following lyrics by Ginny Owens as I was reading today and they spoke to my heart once again.

Simply Love You

Seems that life's become so complicated
I don't think it was meant to be this way
I find myself so distracted
Caught up in the chaos of each day

When did I stop asking for your wisdom?
As if your words were meant for someone else
Why do I choose to second-guess you?
Oh I only frustrate and confuse myself

I just wanna love you, Simply love you
The way it used to be
When your love was new to me
I just wanna love you, simply love you
To hear what you say and live every day
Like you asked me to
I just wanna simply love you

Many times you spoke of us as children
Childhood seems to me so long ago
You say I can trust you like I did then
If I give you my hand then you'll lead me home

Oh...to fall on my knees
With the fresh disbelief
Stirred once again by the story
of how you loved me

Their teacher might have said...

• (Abel) Sit closer to your brother. he won't hurt you.

• (Adam) That's a wonderful leaf collection. Now put those back on.

• (Cain) OK. maybe you're not. But don't you know where your brother is?

• (Daniel) I told you twice before, Danny, get away from the window.

• (David) Put that thing down, Davey, before something flies out and hurts somebody.

• (David, again) Get down off the roof before something bad happens.

• (David, one more time) Pick on kids your own size.

• (Elijah) Apologize to the nice camp counselor for starting the bond fire before he got there.

• (Esther) Yes, Esther, girls can do anything boys can do.

• (Eve) Stop trying to make the other children eat the snacks you brought.

• (Ezekiel) Zeke, you saw a what inside a what?

• (Gideon) Please stop drinking out of the pond.

• (Isaac) Your father would never do that. Tell us what really happened on the weekend camping trip with your daddy?

• (Jacob) Jake, did you trick your brother out of his prize again?

• (James and John) No, Jimmy and Johnny, we cannot call down fire from Heaven to burn up the choir for not letting us use the van.

• (Job) Stop worrying, Jobie. You're rich and successful. What could possibly go wrong?

• (Jonah) This is camp, Joe. Now let’s be a big boy and get in the boat with the rest of the children.

• (John) Johnny, please stop standing on your chair and warning the class about the coming Apocalypse.

• (John the Baptist) J.B., does your mommy know you eat those?

• (Joseph) You can take your coat off now, Joey. I’m sure your brothers at home must be very proud of you.

• (Joshua) Josh, was that nice? He worked hard building that!

• (Judas) I'm sorry. I don't know why you don't have any friends.

• (Moses) OK, Mo, leave the water alone this time and we'll try baptizing you again.

• (Moses, again) I'm sorry, Mo, but we have to give other children a chance to read the class rules.

• (Naaman) Are you getting a rash?

• (Noah) Isn’t there anything else you can make with popsicle sticks?

• (Paul) Paul, Saul, whatever! Just stop referring to your sister as your “thorn in the flesh.”

• (Peter) Pete, how do you always get so wet?

• (Samson) Sammy, apologize to the other children for pushing over the swing set.

• (Samuel) Now Sam, God doesn't talk to kids at night when they're trying to go to sleep.

• (Shadrach) You and your friends can sit down now.

• (Solomon) Very good, Sol. Now give the other children a chance to answer.

• (Thomas) OK, Tommy, look at this. Now do you believe I got wounded in the war?

• (Zaccheaus) Get down from there, Shorty, and give that money back to whoever it belongs to.
  
  Roger Fields
  

It seems that when I dip into the valleys of my life, God reveals Himself in unique ways.  I've realized within the past few years, He has really used the lyrics of songs to catch my attention.  For example,

Hold Fast

MercyMe

To everyone who's hurting
To those who've had enough
To all the undeserving
That should cover all of us
Please do not let go
I promise there is hope

Hold fast
Help is on the way
Hold fast
He's come to save the day
What I've learned in my life
One thing greater than my strife
Is His grasp
So hold fast

Will this season ever pass?
Can we stop this ride?
Will we see the sun at last?
Or could this be our lot in life?
Please do not let go
I promise you there's hope

You may think you're all alone
And there's no way that anyone could know
What you're going through
But if you only hear one thing
Just understand that we are all the same
Searching for the truth
The truth of what we're soon to face
Unless someone comes to take our place
Is there anyone?
All we want is to be free
Free from our captivity, Lord
Here He comes

I am hurting, I've had enough, and I'm definitely undeserving...but there is hope.  One things that is greater than my strife is His grasp...so I'll hold fast.